Why Did I Do That?: A novel by me, with special guest appearances by several alcoholic beverages
people who are full of hate and negativity r exhausting to be around wtf go play with a dog
Al Capone (via hefuckin)
This has been my favorite quote since 9th grade
"Mom can we get McDonalds?"
"Eat what’s in the fridge"
- Referring to any four-legged animal as a weird dog
- Massively underestimating the number of nearly uncountable objects
- Massively overestimating the number of clearly countable objects
- Bad puns in TV episode titles
- go outside to feel the sun (5-15 minutes is recommended)
- if there is no sun step outside and inhale fresh air
- drink water - the more cups the better
- listen to one song that makes you happy
- talk to one person you like - do not hesitate to reach out
- stretch; don’t forget about your body
- smile in the mirror
"no homo" I whisper as I look at my garden of pea plants. The progeny had expressed a 1:2:1 ratio of phenotypes. I am Gregor Mendel.
I still think “friendzone” should be a big calzone you share with your friends.